raindrops on roses

the days are flying by now as fast as a dandelion disperses in the wind. the tighter i try to hold on to it, the faster time slips away... like grains of sand falling through my fingers. i am leaving india in a week... and it breaks my heart.

5 months ago, i lay on a bed completely foreign to me, in a country that i knew nothing about. i was so scared that i flirted with the idea that maybe i could sleep for a few months until bec got here... so i didn't have to face my fears and the unknown alone.

but i dug deep and found the courage to leave that room and go out into a world that intimidated me... and i discovered a beauty and peace i've never seen before. i learned that smiles are easy and people are loving, if you give them the chance... and life is way more than making money.

it turns out that there is so much beauty in this world that sometimes it takes my breath away... literally.

red and purple flowers fall from the trees while women meticulously sweep them up and wash their driveways. bold, vivid colors splash the streets from saris and butterflies floating in the wind. the smell of jasmine constantly floats through the air, mixing with the spicy scents of curry and rice wafting in through the windows. the rythmic hum of conversations in kanada meld with the street vendors singing about their wares. power outages and rain storms. easy, brilliant indian smiles. sincere joy and happiness radiating from every pore. the calm, almost still pace in a culture of cluttered calamity.

manasa... a little girl riding on the back of her dad's scooter, leaning back and holding tightly to his waist. she soaks up the sun with a huge smile on her face. she is a constant reminder to me of what i'm looking for in life. she smiles endlessly and dances about. she doesn't speak much, but she laughs all the time.

leaving all of this is heartbreaking to me. i have found a home in india. i have found friends and i have found myself. i have learned and grown so much here. i am strong and i am at peace. i'm glad i didn't sleep for 5 months... it's hard to imagine now that i ever wanted to. there are so many things that i will miss about being here, but what i'll miss the most is how india makes me feel about myself... and i give thanks for that.

and now i can go home because i am happy and i am strong... and i know i'll be back.